You are irritated. Resentful. Fidgety. All of the normal things that your children do that would usually irk you are making you furious right now. It is a few days before your next moon. And your partner probably notices this fact before you, irritating you even further!
This is how the cycle went for me for many years:
Fireworks emotions, followed by heavy blood flow, then getting lighter again. I would get through it and move on without another thought.
I now know better.
I now connect with the moon. I celebrate my blood and return it to the earth, I place it on my altar! I am a part of my cycle and my cycle guides me. It tells me when to rest, when to act, when to take stock and clear, and when to plan, dream and create. I listen and I dance. Most of all, I make sure to share this magic with my 5 year old daughter so that when her first blood comes, it will be a celebratory rite of passage and she will be honored, cherished, and upheld... much better than a trip to CVS.
I recently discovered this way of living. I have missed so much magic! My daughter will not.
The same goes for the winter:
It would be beautiful for a few weeks and I would be silently dreading the cold and the barebacked trees. I would picture months of isolation and darkness ahead of me and get depressed just thinking about it. The winter would come, I would get slow, heavy, and grumpy, claim to have seasonal affective disorder and wait for spring without another thought.
I now know better. My inner goddess has spoken to me.
I now connect with the cave. I relish the opportunity to fold inwards and hibernate in my own way, to cocoon, to clear out cobwebs and plant seeds for this coming year. I am a part of the cycle of the seasons and the cycle guides me. It tells me when to look up to the sun and reminds me to set intention and cast out my next way of being with every new moon celebration, when to howl, when to recede, when to pray beneath the stars and when to plant acorn wishes into the ground. Most of all, I make sure to share this magic with my 5 year old daughter so that as she grows she can come to cherish the natural cycle of the wheel of the year and the seasons and channel the constant, ever-changing opportunity, beauty, and invitations for bounty... much better than the constant harping to put on a coat, it's cold, and watch for the ice, you might slip.
I recently discovered this way of living. I have missed so much magic here too! My daughter will not.
I now know better. My inner goddess has spoken to me.
Our disconnection from the menstrual cycle and the changing seasons can easily set us up for doldrum every month and every year. And it is not our fault. We don't know any better. Our society has lost touch with the magic of the red tent and the never-ending stars.
So I invite you to join me in trying on a new way of living and tapping into your inner goddess. For the sake of our inner child. And for all our daughters who are witnessing the reclaiming of the magic and awe that is life.
I would like to invite you into the world of channeling your inner goddess if you feel called to her... read below to see how I plan my Inner Goddess Love Parties and how you can start with planning your own too!
As you prepare for the ritual..
The following invitation is simply my structure for creating a loving space. And I invite you to truly make it your own. What is most important, that whatever you do, you do it in a way that honors your truth and your journey. You don't need to be familiar with ritual to begin. You just have to be open for a journey.
You inner goddess is always there waiting for you to share her light and the wisdom of your own truth. She is loving and she is kind and she is fierce and she is passionate. She knows what she wants and needs and takes it with unapologetic gratitude. She dances naked by the fire and also wraps those she loves with compassion and light. She always knows what to do.
She is the you that is waiting to be heard.
Come along and celebrate her!
And if you want a partner in this journey, I am here for that too - if this is for you, click below to get started.
Then everybody, take out your journal and plan out your first inner goddess channeling party by following the steps below!
Let your inner goddess speak to you!
Do it with friends. And include your daughters.
My Personal Party
Your Goddess Love Party gets to be completely yours. But it might be unclear where to start if you've never done anything like this before. So here is a window into what I did with mine:
My Theme: Inner Goddess Painting (in the party barn!)
Everyone was invited to BYO art supplies, wine and finger foods, your own wine glass
I asked my friend to curate a goddess channeling songs playlist for us that would start slow and build
It was just mamas out on a Saturday night - luxurious!
I sent out ideas for how to include our daughters before or after
00:00-00:30 Pure mingling and fun
00:30-00:40 Focused mingling with intros and grounding breath
00:40-01:30 Guided Heart Math Meditation leading to Ecstatic Dance
01:30-02:15 Share Circle: rinse & release, manifest intention
02:15-0?:?? Pull goddess cards, paint, talk, drink wine, dance, create!
This turned out to be beyond all of my expectations.
I love to paint and draw and sketch, but haven't in such a long time...honestly since I was pregnant. So I decided that drawing with friends would be my theme. I also wanted to include some movement and a time for deep sharing. And of course, everything is more fun with a fancy wine glass and yummy finger foods to share!
To set the stage and make it really safe and loving, I established agreements for an open space with no taboos where we get to curse, shout, scream, be obnoxious or egotistical or selfish (essentially let out our true selves without inhibition) with no judgements and for everything to stay between us. In order to honor this, we agreed that we can share our general personal experience but not anyone else's story.
For our meditation, I used a technique called Heart Math, where one focuses in on love on our heart space and visualizes it expanded outward to the cosmos and then returning back to you. As we did so, we began to envision who our inner goddess may be, what she looks like, what she might wear, how she might sound, if we let her out. We invited her to move our bodies for and with us and to let her move us instead of the other way around. We closed our eyes and hummed and sighed deeply and primally.
During the dance portion, I invited us to avoid eye contact so each of us could be completely and utterly free in whatever expressive movement our body was inviting us into. We stretched, did yoga, jumped, danced, and did anything our body called us to do. It was so freeing!
When we had our share circle, we created a safe container by passing around beautiful crystals as talking objects and agreed to hold space and sit with the silence for as long as anyone needs and to allow one another to speak for as long or as little as they need. We went around the circle, honoring our own stories, channeling our inner goddess, and inviting her to release whatever no longer serves and cast out our intentions for the next phase and have them publicly acknowledged.
We also organically ended up closing our eyes and singing the song "I Release Control" by Alexa Sunshine Rose together as a group and washed away the last of what no longer serves us.
After release and celebrating, we pulled cards from two different decks to further inspire us:
After much laughter, sharing, some crying, and lots of connection we pulled out our art supplies and let our inner goddess express herself in any way we felt called to it! Some of us wowed us with crocheting, others colored, I ended up painting a new wine glass (because I had accidentally broken my special glass I had brought with me, of course), and our friend painted our faces and arms, making the time truly magical!
It was such a loving experience that we immediately established that we would hold a goddess party once a month, and each time another one of us would hold the space with whatever format she feels called to bring.
Step 1: Set the Stage
Before you begin planning anything, start learning how to tap into your inner goddess, even for just a little bit. So set aside an evening to be with yourself and connect to her.
Here are some ways I have done this that may speak to you (or make up your own sweet celebration!):
Light a candle and write questions for yourself. Burn them in the fire and set intention. Sit with your eyes closed and listen to the answers come through you. Then write down what came up.
Put on a playlist that moves you and dance! I like lighting candles and blasting music in the shower or turning the lights down low and turning my bedroom into my own private love cave.
Go on a moonlit walk. Find a spot to stargaze for a while and tap into the ancient wisdom of the night sky.
Read some wheel of the year stories to tap into the power and magic of whatever season you are in.
Set up an altar in a special place with tokens that make you smile and feel cherished. These can include a combination of crystals, candles, natural objects and divination cards or simply objects that make you happy.
Begin tracking and charting your menstrual cycle more deliberately. I like to mark which phase I am in and then note how I am feeling physically and energetically, then set an intention for the day for either an action or some clearing.
Step 2: Choose a Format
For me, I needed this to be in person and to be surrounded by a small group of people who ground and light me up. I wanted some form of expression and outlet and release. I wanted to make time for everyone to share their story. And I wanted to have kid-free fun.
What would your ideal experience be like?
Take some time to plan out how you would want it to look, to feel, and even to sound like. Here are some more questions to guide you in curating the perfect experience for you:
How many people is your sweet spot, not too many, not too little?
How would you plan this if it were a solo experience? (This could inform you around the qualities you want to bring forth)
What are the must-have components for you to feel complete in this experience? The goal here is luxurious nourishment. For me, it was some sort of creative outlet, music, 1:1 deep connection, and wine!
How long do you want it to be? How much will you be leading as opposed to inviting others into?
Will the format be structured or free-flowing?
When would you want to hold it? And where?
What extras would make it super juicy and nourishing? For me, it was the fact that our friend painted our faces and arms and that we pulled goddess cards.
Step 3: Include Your Daughters
Our children are witnessing us every day. It is never too early or late to include our daughters in these goddess practices! My daughter is watching me in my evolution into what is such a nourishing and magical world for me and while I continue to incorporate more and more, something else is happening that is truly incredible to me: goddess tradition and practice is becoming HER NORM.
There is no greater gift I can think of than modeling for our daughters how to honor and follow the incredible power of our natural cycle and communing with our inner goddess. So include them and explain what you are doing whenever they ask!
There are so many entry points into goddess honoring, but for me, my favorite have been these. I invite you to enjoy trying on what most speaks to you!:
A daily acknowledgement and thank you to the land at each meal
Incorporating a gratitude practice into our bedtime routine that particularly honors the current cycle of nature happening outside our window
Celebrating the equinoxes and solstices
Honoring and tracking the moon cycle
Seasonal Rituals including acorn blessings in the fall, wish bread in the winter, seed sowing in the spring, and collecting (found and already departed) bees for wish charms in the late summer.
Seasonal Crafts including leaf waxing and sculpture creating in the fall, ice candle holders and beeswax divination in the winter, leaf and flower wreath weaving in the spring, and mandala petal making in the summer
Cultivating and caring for a garden to continue our rich connection to the land
Curating a seasonal altar together as a family
Going out to and connecting with nature as often as possible, including taking moon walks, barefoot hikes, swimming in lakes and under waterfalls, enjoying an annual fall lantern walk, and honoring the moon cycle with new moon dancing and infusing our blessings in moon water
Honoring my blood openly and actively
Naming when I am in an active part of my menstrual cycle. Naming when I need to rest and retreat. Planning ahead for this and actively clearing my calendar.
Pulling goddess cards together
Exploring different gems and crystals and noticing how they make us feel, which energy is calling to us
Enjoying a daily yoga and meditation practice together
Practicing mindful eating, walking, humming, and listening
Dancing together to goddess playlists
Having our own special personal goddess painting party before the mama one
Some resources that have really inspired me:
May you be inspired onto your own journey of unearthing your inner goddess and welcoming her for years to come!
If you are interested in learning more about how to curate an ongoing rite of passage and goddess experience with and for your daughters, schedule a free 30min playful parent connect with me today!